The Stages of the Dark Night of the Soul
There can be various types of Dark Night of the Soul, but this writing is in regards to the spiritual Dark Night of the Soul. This Dark Night is part of the awakening process and happens when you hit a certain point along your journey. Its purpose is woven into your own unique unfolding, soul lessons and spiritual path. The hardest part of this Dark Night of the Soul is that it disconnects you from the Universe. That is a tell-tale sign that you are in one: where there was once connection to spirit, where there was once flow and light from within, that gets completely and utterly disconnected during the Dark Night.
I will never forget when I was in ‘The Fall’ stage of my Dark Night, and I was crying so hard sitting on the couch in my home and I stated that the Universe had abandoned me, because that’s what it felt like. All I wanted to do was be connected to source again, be connected to the love within again, and I was completely and utterly disconnected from all of this.
But it was for a purpose, for lessons, and for the continual evolution of soul. It was a massive purge and release. And I can tell you now that I am on the other side of it, it is 100% worth it.
I hope to lay out the stages of the spiritual Dark Night of the Soul below in hopes of helping others know what is going in and where they might be at in the process.*
Stage 1: The Fall
The spiritual Dark Night of the Soul comes on quite quickly and you start to unravel and fall quite immediately. This stage is all about falling and unraveling the old you, it corresponds to the ‘fall’ within our seasons. It’s the decomposition, the leaves falling from the tree, the death of the old. It entails a lot of letting go. A lot of purging. A lot of releasing. This was key in this stage, to just completely and utterly let go, and let the process happen. It’s an utter unraveling of yourself, it’s cracking open the ego, it’s the difficult disconnection from universal flow. It’s the death.
Stage 2: The Void
This stage happens once you are completely and utterly stripped of the old you. And it feels like you are freefalling into nothing. The quintessential feeling in this stage is not knowing who you are anymore. There is no you because you are in the void about to pivot to the new, but before the new can start to develop you are in this deeply uncomfortable stage of not knowing and free falling and having no point of reference and no center. It can be extremely disorienting and if you need assistance, get it. It’s the final exhale before the inhale, before the new you can start to build. It’s the ego conscious being completely barren, stripped and raw so that the real you, the spirit aligned you can build from a place of soul alignment. This stage corresponds to our seasonal winter. There is a lot happening in the background and under the surface, but the blossoming has not happened yet. It’s the pause before the rebirth begins.
Stage 3: The Transition
The transition. While ‘The Fall’ and ‘The Void’ stages require a lot of letting go. This stage requires grit, determination and just not giving in to the old you. This is when the new you starts to appear. The soul aligned, spirit driven you, but the ego does not want to relent and this stage can feel somewhat like an internal battle. The ego does not want to give in, it does not want to fully let go, but the force of spirit, the energy of your soul, it will not let you fail and it continues to drive forward and become the main operating point within your energetic system. A lot can come to the surface in this stage to be dealt with and let go, because the new you will only come forth in all it’s glory from a place of pure alignment and if there is still stuff from the old you that needs to be dealt with, it will come forth to be felt and released. This is the seasonal spring of the Dark Night of the Soul. It’s a blossoming of the new you, but it’s also intense. Within this stage, it required saying so many times a day, ‘I am with Truth now, I am with my Higher Self Now.’ It took pure grit and determination to not revert back to my old ego driven self, and it took a lot of grace to be able to feel everything I was feeling in order to release it and become the new me. This was the stage where the new was truly unfolding, but it was still very messy and full of challenges.
Stage 4: The Embodiment
At last, this is the stage that we hope for. This is the stage that we want to get to and this does not happen overnight, it can sometimes take a lot of time to fully get to this stage. This is the full embodiment of the new you, the soul aligned, spirit driven you. This is the truth of who you really are. The ego is no longer in charge, it’s now in the backseat. This stage is about embracing all that you are from a place of love, alignment and deep connection to source. This is when your connection to the Universe comes back online and its way more powerful than it was before. This is the new you, the universal life force, god consciousness, buddha nature driven you. And it’s the you that loves and embraces yourself fully as you are (yes even the messy human parts), and it’s ready to bring forth soul aligned purpose into the world. It’s about completely honoring who you are and trusting yourself fully and loving yourself fully and walking your own joyful path. It’s the summer of the process, it’s the full re-birth, it’s the full expression of alignment, it’s the full embodiment of YOU.
**Please note that while, yes, these stages might pertain to a good chunk of Dark Nights of the Soul, always remember that we are all unique expressions of source and sometimes souls will have different paths. Nothing is ever a hard truth. Remember truth arises in the moment and then is gone. Your own truth will look completely different than others truth.
***Also please note that the above can be likened to other growth cycles within the awakening path. They follow similar trajectories. The Dark Night is just a really, really intense one.